#AskAnExpat is a Q&A series about being Black and abroad, beyond the glossy social media reels and curated feeds. Whether you're curious about making the leap, navigating culture shock, or building community in a new country, this series shares insights from those who’ve been there, done that, and are still figuring it out.
Got a question or topic you’d love to see covered? Drop it in the comments!
When One Wants to Go and the Other Isn’t So Sure
One of the questions I get asked most often as a married expat is: “How did you and your husband decide to move abroad?”
I wish I could say we were on the same page from the start, but that just wasn’t our story.
The idea to leave the U.S. came from me. And when I brought it to Larry for him to seriously consider in 2019, he didn’t exactly jump at the chance to uproot our lives. He was skeptical. Hesitant. And honestly? That made sense. We had stability, a rhythm, and roots. Moving abroad felt like a wild idea.
But I also knew this was something I deeply wanted. And instead of pushing or persuading, I chose to surrender. I knew Larry processed things differently than I did and I had to give him space and time to come to his own decision, in his own way.
(Plus, he’s a headstrong Leo like me, so…)
But then... something shifted.
When He Finally Saw What I Felt
It was May 2020. We were in pandemic lockdown, like most of the world, when the video of George Floyd’s murder began circulating.
I didn’t watch it. I knew my spirit couldn’t take it.
But Larry did.
And when George cried out for his mother as that officer mercilessly knelt and bore down on his neck for over 9 minutes, something cracked open in him. I think in that moment, this wasn’t just another tragic headline. It became personal. Real. He saw himself in George.
I believe that was one of the turning points in his decision making.
He started to really feel what I had been sensing for a while: that maybe America wasn’t safe for us.
That’s when we began to seriously explore the possibility of leaving. At the time, there weren’t many TikTokers or Black expat blogs speaking directly to our experience. But we found a few online communities, started asking questions, and made a deal: we’d try Mexico for six months.
Six months came and went. And what we discovered was this: Life felt lighter. More easeful. Less chaotic. We were breathing deeper. Living fuller.
So we applied for a one-year temporary residency. And now, nearly four years later, we’re still here and still loving this life we’ve created.
Uprooting with Kids: The Extra Layer in Every Expat Decision
Our path may have started with just the two of us (and our beagle pup, Snoopy), but many families are relocating with so much more to consider…
Which is why I wanted to highlight my friends Rachel and Darnel in this edition of #AskAnExpat.
In their case, it was Darnel who brought up the idea. Rachel needed some time (and some TikTok receipts) to get on board. They also had a two-year-old daughter to consider.
Childcare. Schooling. Healthcare. Community. All of that mattered.
Still, they took the leap of faith. And what they found in Mexico was a soft place to land. They - like Larry and I - found a sense of ease, belonging and a family-first culture that welcomed them with open arms.
Coming Soon on Black Expat Stories: A Conversation with Black Moms Raising Kids Abroad
As a matter of fact, Rachel will be joining me for a special episode of Black Expat Stories. She’ll be part of a dynamic panel of Black expat moms raising children of all ages—from toddlers to teens to young adults.
We’ll be digging into what it really looks like to parent abroad: the decisions, the doubts, the reactions from family and friends, the joy, the culture clashes, and the freedom that comes with raising Black children outside of the U.S.
If you’ve ever wondered how Black expat families are navigating life outside the U.S., you won’t want to miss this one. Stay tuned!
In the meantime, don’t forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel so you’ll get the notification when it drops!
Talk to Me: What’s Your Story?
If you moved abroad with a partner, I’d love to hear how that decision came together for you. What sparked the shift?
And if you’re still dreaming about making the move—but have a partner to consider—what’s been coming up in those conversations?
Let’s keep this conversation going in the comments.
-Courtney
Resources and More Ways to Stay Connected
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Watch Black Expat Stories: The Ethnography Series
Curious about what it’s really like to live abroad? Black Expat Stories brings you the unfiltered, inspiring, and unforgettable journeys of those pioneering America’s Next Great Migration: The Blaxit. We’re capturing some of the most riveting stories about international living—told by Black expats and immigrants. Click to watch now!
Blaxit Soundtrack & Soul Work Journal
Whether you're pondering making a move abroad or reflecting on what freedom truly means for you, this beautiful blend of curated music and guided prompts will help you chart your path - from decision to departure. Download it for free now.
Find Thriving Black Expat Communities
Thinking about making a move abroad and want find our where your people are? Check out my curated guide: 14 Countries With THRIVING Black Expat Communities.
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